I know why people love, and I think I know why people hate. But I can't figure out why people love to hate. 

I've heard of a man claiming to be God, and I've heard it said that God became a man, but I've never heard of a man even claiming to understand women. 

When a guy describes anything as, "complicated" it means that he's not half the expert on the subject that he first claimed to be, or that there are women involved (or both).

Sometimes I see women and I think, "Wow, God, you really do exist." But sometimes after I hear them speak I think, "Wow, God, I guess creation is a work in progress.."

I would like to never stop at another gas station for the rest of my life. Hey Technology, what is the hold up?

I used to be a substitute teacher. I don't miss the pay, but I do miss the troublemakers. To all the kids who are not afraid to try to out wit an adult with 20 years + more experience on them, I sincerely hope one day you will beat the odds.